How to choose a caretaker: a 12-point checklist

Choosing a caretaker for elderly parents is not a shopping decision. You are deciding who will be in your parent’s home, who will see them at their most private, and who you will trust when you are not there. Most families start the search after a fall or a discharge, when there is no time to compare. This checklist is designed to be read before that day — and used again when you are in a hurry.

Work through it in order. The first four points decide safety. The next four decide whether the arrangement lasts. The last four decide what happens when something goes wrong.

Before you start: decide the level of care

You cannot brief an agency until you know what you are asking for. Write down the actual tasks:

• Companion level — company, meals, errands, medicine reminders. The person is independent in bathing, toilet and mobility.
• Attendant level — help with one to three daily activities: bathing, toilet, getting up, moving around, medicines. No clinical tasks.
• High-dependency level — confusion or wandering, help needed in four or more daily activities, or bedridden care without clinical tasks.
• Skilled nursing level — injections, drips, wound dressing, catheter, oxygen, tube feeding.

If any task on your list is clinical, you need a nurse for that task. A willing attendant is not a substitute for a qualified one. Our matcher works this out from your answers in about two minutes if you would rather not reason it out alone.

The 12-point checklist

Points 1–4: safety first

1. Photo ID, and it matches the person. Collect government photo ID and address proof yourself, note the date, and check the photograph. Ask for it before the first overnight shift, not after.
2. Police verification with an acknowledgement number. A verbal “we have checked” is not verification. Ask for the acknowledgement number and keep it.
3. Two references you call yourself. Ask the previous family three questions: how long did they stay, why did they leave, and would you hire them again. Call at a time when someone other than the agency is likely to answer.
4. A written scope of work. One page: hours, days off, tasks included, tasks excluded, payment amount, payment date, notice period. Sign it, keep a copy each.

Points 5–8: whether it will last

5. A trial period with written pass-or-exit criteria. Decide in advance what “working” means — punctuality, follow-through on the routine, comfort of the senior. Review at the end of week one and week two.
6. A replacement policy, in days. Ask the agency exactly how many days it takes to send a replacement, and what happens if you cannot accept the person offered. Get it in writing before the first day, because nobody renegotiates from a position of need.
7. One family point of contact. Four family members giving four instructions is the most common cause of a caregiver quietly leaving. Name one person to brief, correct and pay.
8. A language check. The caregiver and your parent must be able to talk to each other without an interpreter. Confirm spoken languages on a short call before the trial, not after joining.

Points 9–12: when something goes wrong

9. An emergency protocol. Who is called first, at 2pm and at 2am; the neighbour’s number; the building watchman; the doctor’s after-hours number. Post it where the caregiver can see it.
10. Payment records. Bank transfer to the caregiver’s own account, on a fixed date, with a written fee sheet showing salary and agency fee separately. Receipts every month.
11. A rule about money and access. The caregiver should never hold ATM cards, PINs or passwords. This is not a comment on any individual — it protects everyone, including them.
12. A relief plan. One person cannot provide continuous care without a break. Arrange a second caregiver, a family rota, or a day-care option so the plan does not collapse during the first illness.

What to do in the first two weeks

Keep it simple and keep it written. On day one, walk the caregiver through the routine and the out-of-scope list. By day three, check that medicines are being reminded and not decided. At the end of week one, call the senior without the caregiver present and ask three questions: are they eating, are they sleeping, do they feel safe. At the end of week two, decide — extend, change, or end it.

The most useful habit families build is a two-line daily note from the caregiver: what happened, and what needs the family’s attention. It takes a minute and it is worth more than a photograph.

Related reading

• Attendant vs nurse vs physiotherapist: who do you actually need?
• Cost of elderly care in India: the complete guide
• Verification: police, ID and reference checks explained